Have you heard of financial intimacy before? When people talk about intimacy, they usually portray it in one direction. But intimacy can go many ways, one of them financially. Financial intimacy aims at having a tight monetary bond with someone, usually your partner. When two people enter a relationship, they must bond in all ramifications. Therefore, the concept of financial intimacy comes into play. After all, in any union, there are financial requirements. No couple can fulfill these requirements if they have no financial intimacy and understanding. We’ve also seen that monetary issues are one of the issues faced by couples and have led to the separation of many couples. We believe this wouldn’t have happened if they had understood financial intimacy.
This write-up aims to help people build financial intimacy with their partners. Once this is achieved, you will see a better understanding, and monetary issues will rarely surface. Some may argue that building financial intimacy is impossible, but we do not share such thoughts. On the contrary, financial intimacy is possible, and you can achieve it with some of the solutions we would share below:
1. Being open about their earnings
Why are you hiding how much you earn from your partner? We have seen couples who are not honest about their salaries with their partners, and we think it doesn’t make any sense. For you to be with your partner means that you trust that person. So, why are you hoarding information about your earnings?
If you are not comfortable sharing how much you earn with your partner, it is a sign that you both are incompatible, and you shouldn’t have gotten into the relationship in the first place.
You would see that planning is more manageable when partners are open about their earnings. When your partner knows how much you earn, they know what to expect from you regarding contributions within the home. However, when you leave your earnings to their assumptions, they begin to have some unrealistic expectations, leading to conflict within the home.
Partners always need to be honest, and being open about your earnings is also a part of it. This way, there would be no unrealistic expectations, and you could plan your lives accordingly. The first step to bonding in any relationship, including friendship, is honesty. Therefore, partners shouldn’t hide such information from themselves.
2. Having hard conversations about money
People often shy away from having some conversations about money. They believe that these conversations are complex and may lead to disagreement. However, it is best to have such discussions and know your perceptions on the topic than to stay vague.
If you are vague about such conversations, tension surrounds you and your partner in that terrain, and fiction is bound to happen. However, when you have these conversations, there would be proper understanding as you would know what to expect from your partner.
For example, do you believe in having a joint account with your partner? When you are romantically involved with someone and eventually get married, you both need to have hard conversations and meet at a middle ground. If you do not believe in having a joint account with your partner, you must make it transparent instead of beating around the bush. For example, suppose your partner feels that you both should keep a certain percentage of your earnings in a joint account, but you do not like such an idea. But instead of voicing out, you beat around the topic and do not hold on to your side of the deal. Of course, it would result in quarrels. But it would have been avoided if you had had the conversation from the onset.
3. Talking about and understanding your boundaries
What are your monetary limitations? What are those things you wouldn’t get with money? What are your limits when it comes to spending money?
As you read these questions, we are sure you are answering them in your head. But why leave it in your head instead of sharing it with your partner? After all, your partner doesn’t have magical powers and cannot read your mind. So, they wouldn’t know the answer to these questions except if you shared it with them.
If you decide to shy away from the question of monetary boundaries, you will always clash with your partner. For example, your partner doesn’t mind spending money on extravagant items as long as the money is there. However, you are more conservative and wouldn’t want to get such things. If your partner doesn’t know or understand your boundaries, they begin to feel slighted when you do not get extravagant items for them. Your partner would wonder why you have the money but refuse to spend it. Soon, it may lead to resentment as they would hold it against you and always feel hurt.
All these are avoidable if your partner knows your monetary boundaries as they would know that you can get things for them, but not extravagant items.
5. Planning for the future together
It shouldn’t be surprising to see people who act like they are still single even after marriage. It could be that such people have gotten so used to making independent decisions and they now find it hard to carry their partner along in their plans. We usually advise such people to make an effort, as it could affect their union negatively if they do not plan for the future together.
Imagine how hurt your partner will feel to find out later that you have investments or plans and did include them. We are not saying you cannot make personal investments in a relationship. However, your partner should also be aware.
It is why it’s essential to be with someone you trust, as sharing and making plans would be easier. Unfortunately, some people do not share because they might not trust the person. However, why are you with someone you do not trust?
They often say that a problem shared is a problem half-solved. But, with the right person, shared plans are usually more feasible than unshared plans. So, what would be your pick? Ensure that you make decisions that lead to financial intimacy and do not break your relationship.
6. Being honest in all monetary conversations:
We mentioned that honesty is vital in friendships and relationships. If you see any friendship that has lasted, it is because all parties involved are honest and truthful.
If you want your union with your partner to stay long-lasting, you must be honest in all conversations, including monetary discussions. If you spend money on anything your partner asks, there is no need to lie about it. Likewise, if you plan to use money kept aside for anything, you should also share it with your partner.
Some may argue that being honest is restrictive and does not give financial freedom. However, you would not feel that way if you trust your partner and both got along well. The idea of being honest is so that there won’t be any breached expectations.
For example, you want to use the money kept aside to get something, and you don’t tell your partner. Suppose your partner plans to use that money for the children’s school fees. How would your partner feel when they realize the money’s gone and they were unaware? But if you were honest and shared such information with your partner, you would avoid such a scenario.
Building financial intimacy cannot be overemphasized and is vital for every couple! If you are looking at running a joint savings account with your partner, you should open a Mintyn savings account today!
